things my mother has taught me

  • if you are going to chew gum do so with your mouth closed.  you are not a cow chewing its cud.
  • say "pardon?" not "HUH?"
  • if it doesn't belong to you, don't touch it.
  • if you have no money, don't buy it.
  • acknowledge burps and farts.  to pretend they didn't happen makes people think you are rude or senile.
  • keep your fingers out of your mouth.
  • invest in good shoes, your feet will thank you for it later.
  • wear a proper bra because you will not be twenty forever.
  • dance when you hear a song you like.
  • be nice.