things my mother has taught me

• if you are going to chew gum do so with your mouth closed.  you are not a cow chewing its cud.
• say "pardon?" not "HUH?"
• if it doesn't belong to you, don't touch it.
• if you have no money, don't buy it.
• acknowledge burps and farts.  to pretend they didn't happen makes people think you are rude or senile.
• keep your fingers out of your mouth.
• invest in good shoes, your feet will thank you for it later.
• wear a proper bra because you will not be twenty forever.
• dance when you hear a song you like.
• be nice.